T-7 and counting...

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 I can't believe these sweet boys leave in less than a week. All of our lives have changed dramatically. It will tear me apart to send them back and to send them back to an area that is in the middle of political issues with Russia. There has been so much that I have learned over the last few days. I don't even know how to wrap my head around it. 

When I started on this path, I did not know what to expect. Heck, even after the honeymoon period ended, I was not sure how we were going to get through it. These boys arrived, smaller than expected (my 10 year old is smaller than Hunter and my 13 year old looks more like a 10 year old), but with very big personalities. After a week, I learned so much about them. They have siblings - a 6 year old sister and a 16 year old brother. Their parents rights were terminated. They have been in the system since 2018. They live in a very poor orphanage. They are both developmentally behind - struggling with the math that Hunter is doing. Their English is EXPLODING! It has been great to see how they (and we) are learning more of each others' languages and using them regularly. They have become a very integral part of our family.

For those that do not know me well, I am a planner. I always want to make sure I know all of my options. I looked into the costs and options of hosting these boys again. There are a couple of bumps. N turns 14 in June, and if he is not able to get finger printed through the US Embassy (due to COVID), he won't be able to come. Their 6 year old sister has to be 7 before she can participate. If she does not turn 7 before June, she cannot participate. I believe there are 30 kids that are from their orphanage and for this session, 6 could not participate due to the Ukrainian age requirements for participation. 

I also wanted to know info referring adoption. This has been a roller coaster of information and emotions. In the beginning, I did quite a bit of research. All the research told me that I am not able (Ukrainian Law) to adopt these kids! Why? Because I am single. That is the only reason. While some of the laws tend to be flexible regarding adoption and regularly change, this particular one seems pretty rigid. How is this possible? I have worked hard to provide for myself and my kids. I am not typical by any means. I have the financial means, the emotional support, the space and, above all, the love to provide for these children. Yet, currently, I cannot, because I am single. Again, Ukraine seems to be known for their regularly changing laws and so, I can be hopeful but it still looks bleak. 

It is hard to wrap my mind around the possibility of not seeing N again in person. I just need to have faith and hope and pray that our paths will cross again.


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