Reflections...

I wanted to take some time to reflect on this experience. No, it is not over yet and many things can change in the next 11 days as they leave on January 16. However, there is so much I have learned over the last 3 weeks. I want to share as much as I can. 

First, I want to discuss how this has impacted me. I have learned that these kids have had a very traumatic life thus far. They have only been in the system since 2019 and the parents' parental rights have been terminated. Therefore, these kids had parents in their lives - for N for 13 years and for Y for 10 years. And I have been told that in Ukraine, it is very hard to have parental rights terminated. I can now have a better understanding how angry these kids can be and where it comes from. 

I also wanted to share some comments from other Ukrainian kids that were adopted. Some of the common comments: Large orphanages are horrible. The kids often do not leave to go to school. Many of the helpers try to teach them to the best of their availability. Another question was what differences there are between America and Ukraine - the child said everything. There is nothing similar. However, in America, people are just nicer. They care. 

Those last words stung. Why? Orphans in Ukraine are at the bottom of the social class ladder. They are outcasts. And they are children. They were not asked to be in this position. 

Many have asked me if I would adopt these boys. The thought has crossed my mind. I actually asked before the boys arrived to see if it would be adoption. I was told yes. They are adoptable. As the weeks have passed, I have learned more. They have two others siblings - a 16 year old brother and a 6 year old sister. Both of them are still at the orphanage. The 16 year old is not able to travel due to COVID (the US Embassy requires fingerprinting for visa and passport and no in person appointments have occurred since COVID). The 6 year old is not old enough. In order to adopt, I would have to adopt N and Y as well as their 6 year old sister. The 16 year old is currently aging out of the system and is not eligible to be adopted; however, if he chose, he would be able to come. This brings up a great deal of questions:

1. Can I financially provide for all of them, including my own 3?

2. Would it be fair to bring all of them, thus taking away activities from my 3 as finances would not change?

3. Am I physically and mentally capable? 

These questions, among many others continue to go through my head day in and day out. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers to give me some guidance as we navigate this process.