Winter 2021 - Ukrainian Boys Visit Our Family

So... I haven't posted in a few days.  It's been a struggle.  We have some good, really good moments.  And then, we have some really low moments.  I have to remember that these kids may have a traumatic past and are testing my limits.  I received this article at just the right time... https://www.focusonthefamily.com/pro-life/when-your-adopted-child-pushes-you-away/ Also, I've made the very difficult decision to put my dog down.  It is time but difficult nonetheless.  

I'm going to start this post by being brutally honest. These last few days have really made me wonder if I have bitten off more than I can chew. I fully recognize I make mistakes raising my boys, but parenting my Ukrainian boys has challenged me more that I ever thought possible.  I said today that I feel like I've been failing as a parent to them and that every time we take 2 steps forward we take 80 steps back. I've been to the point of tears.  I've questioned my abilities, my strengths and my decisions. Thankfully, I'm not alone.  I have a strong community of other host families who are experiencing the same emotions.     But, today, today was different.  I don't think today could have been any better. I've learned that these boys work better when they know what to expect. They do better when I tell them our plans. When those plans include chores, their last item on the list is always tablet time.   I had asked them a few days ago if there...

 We have been very busy since the boys have arrived. I have been very fortunate that they have been such good sports. In the 10 days since they have arrived, they have travelled to Iowa, Wisconsin, Indiana, back to Iowa and back to Indiana. And it is very common that these kids have never travelled in a car prior to arrival. I was prepared with wrist bands that help with motion sickness. But they have done great! Yesterday was the last full day in Iowa. We were lucky to have my grandpa and aunt come visit us from Wisconsin. They came down for lunch and we all talked for a bit. When I am back in Iowa, there are a few places that I like to get food from: Rudy's Tacos, Whitey's Ice Cream and pizza from Happy Joe's. Unfortunately we did not eat at Rudy's or Happy Joe's but we did go and get Whitey's ice cream. The boys had whitey's vanilla with Snickers. I learned a lot about their food preferences these last few days. For example, for Whitey's ice cream, th...

Because we had already celebrated Christmas with my sister last weekend, today was much more laid back.  The kids woke up to Santa's toys and jingles (the elf) being gone.  Like many kids, including my own, N and Y would prefer to spend the day on the tablets.  I decided that they would have to earn them.  So for the first part of the day we walked up to my old elementary school and they played at the park.  They played basketball, ga ga ball and races on the monkey bars.  Both N and Y really do great with Hunter and Hudson.  But N is by far much more of the older, protective, carrying big brother.  He always looks out for Hudson and includes Hunter.  I'm still learning their likes and dislikes for food.  We ate BBQ (similar to sloppy Joe) and they loved it! And of course they chowed down more clementines and green grapes! We had Mississippi pot roast for dinner.  They tried the meat but preferred...

We spent our first full day at home in Indiana.  We had to come back to pick up the dogs before heading back to my mom's in Iowa.  When I signed up to do this, I was a little nervous because I would be hosting during the winter months.  It's very hard to have kids cooped up inside the whole time.  And if not, you spend a lot of money doing activities.  But yesterday was a beautiful day outside! All the boys were able to play outside! They rode the motorbike, electric scooter, and power wheels.  They played basketball on the trampoline and met our dogs.  N was very excited to play with the dogs while Y was definitely hesitant.  Towards the end of the day Y had warmed up to them and was enjoying them.  We were gifted a ticket to Harvest Thyme Christmas lights drive thru. We also were gifted hot chocolate and cookies.  As we drove through the kids loved all the lights and the music.  We even got snowed on (fake snow machine)! It was a ...

We spent our last full day at the water park yesterday.  All of the kids had a blast.  One of our neighbors joined us so my middle also had someone to play with! The kids spent a lot of time swimming, going down the water slides, playing basketball and playing in the arcade.   N and Y had the most fun getting the candy out of one of the games.  They also really enjoyed going down the big water slides. I even joined them!  I'm learning a lot about them.  They love clementines! I'm pretty sure we went through 15 lbs in 3 days.  N loves ham and Y loves pasta.  Neither like milk.  And, like many American kids, they'd rather spend all day on their tablets.   We did have some pouty faces when I told them they could not play with their tablets.  But I guess pouting is very common 🤷‍♀️ Overall there is a lot of laughs, love and learning for everyone!

Yesterday started off with a lot of excitement! We had arrived at the water park! All of the boys were super excited.   I learned that N knew how to swim but Y did not.  I also learned that N LOVES the water slides but Y does not.  And also, in true brotherly fashion, when Y was done for the day, he didn't want to leave because N was still playing.   We had our first round of discipline yesterday.  I had been a bit concerned how they would react, if they would listen, etc.  There had been too much rough housing in the pool after I had already all of them to stop.  So out they came and we were done at the pool for that part of the day.   Overall it has been a great day!! Looking forward to our day of swimming and games.  

We celebrated Christmas on Sunday.  My oldest son Hunter spends Christmas with his dad this year so we celebrated a week early.  The boys were so excited! But we did start out with a bit of a bump in the road. I told the boys that we were going to church (it was also the Christmas program of my nieces). When I told them that we were going and I handed them their clothes, N immediately got upset saying no and shaking his head no. He got so worked up he was crying :( We talked it out as best we could and he finally agreed. When we arrived at my sister's EVERY child in the house was asking when we could open presents LOL. N and Y had asked for a tablet - little did they know what was to come! Opening presents was awesome! The boys were so happy.  We ended the evening with dinner.  N tried prime rib and loved it! The boys played A LOT! Basketball, jumping on the trampoline, presents, dinner, church.  What an amazing and blessed day! ...